Speaking Your Truth: A Self-Honoring Practice

As women, we are not encouraged to speak our minds, In fact, we are trained to believe that doing so diminishes our "niceness." And, remember that from our nursery rhyme days we are told that "sugar and spice and everything nice is what little girls are made of." 

That doesn't leave much room for resistance, rebellion or even curiosity. And it doesn't leave room for us to speak the hard, most essential truths of our hearts.

When we are more concerned with how our truth lands with those around us than with honoring it—honoring us—we have abandoned ourselves.

What do I mean? Let me illustrate. Think about your deepest truth—that thing you know in your bones.

My friend Roxy Sewell has known for years that she had a little girl named Luna. Luna danced into her dreams and into her heart before she was even engaged to her beloved Sean. Luna was feisty and animated, she skipped everywhere. She told Roxy her name, and Roxy told Sean. They both knew her before she was ever conceived. 

After years as an IVF warrior, Roxy was pregnant with Luna. Literally a dream come true. Until it wasn't. Until her pregnancy ended much too early, and Luna left this earthly realm.

Roxy could not bring Luna back in her earth body, but what she could do was vow to never deny, dismiss or hide her.

Roxy is pregnant again now, this time with a son, Mateo. And when she's asked if this is her first pregnancy or if this is her first child, she answers, "no," and she invokes Luna's name, even if the person asking doesn't really want to know the deep truth, pain and beauty nestled within that question. Why does she do it?

Because Luna is her deepest truth, and denying her to make others comfortable is not something Roxy is willing to do. Honoring Luna is honoring herself.

She tells her story in the very personal video above, including the impact vowing faithfulness to herself with us last year had on allowing her to process the grief of her pregnancy loss and to start living again with Luna as a forever part of her life. 

What truths do you downplay, avoid or hide simply in the name of "niceness," others' comfort, or not rocking the boat? Could you dare to let them out to play in the world, released from their hiding places?

Ponder that. I'll be back in my next post with some example from my own life of when I spoke out when my deepest truths were being denied or dismissed. The more you practice, the more empowering it becomes.

Remember, it's not unkind to share something that makes people squirm a bit, gives them pause or introduces a new way of thinking about something. Sharing your truth can be a gift to you both!

Our community just started a six-week journey, that will culminate in a vow ceremony—a ceremony where we vow faithfulness to OURSELVES. We can only do that by practicing counter-cultural practices like speaking our truth, so that there is room for it—and for us—to exist in the world. We will start our gathering next week by looking at ways we honor ourselves and ways we abandon ourselves.

We have a few spots left and will be accepting new circle members through this week. Want to do this work in community? Join us or message me with questions!